Getting Help for a Child with a Behavior Disorder

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My son is in the 10th grade. He has a behavior disorder and he can’t control himself at times. The school does not understand when he gets agitated and angry. They just suspend him and deprive him of his education.

You say your son has a behavior disorder. Many kids with learning disabilities develop behavior problems. If the school doesn’t teach them the skills they need, they become angry, frustrated, and depressed. Then the school labels them as “behavior disordered” or “emotionally disturbed.”

  • Is he under the care of a mental health professional?

If not, he needs this right away.

By suspending him repeatedly, the school is putting him at high risk for dropping out.

  • Does he have an IEP?

If yes, what services is the school supposed to provide? Are they providing these services?

  • If he doesn’t have an IEP, you should get an evaluation by an independent evaluator.

The evaluator will determine what his needs are and what type of educational program he needs. The evaluator can help advocate for him with the school. A mental health person can also help you learn how to advocate for him.

At this point, you have educators who have little or no training in mental health and behavioral problems dealing with him, mainly by suspending him (which isn’t a punishment for many kids).

  • Is he under the care of a child psychiatrist?

If not, that’s your first step. You also need to get a comprehensive evaluation to find out what is going on with him, why he can’t control himself, and how to help him get himself under control. The child psychiatrist should be able to recommend a good child or neuro-psychologist.

Bottom line: You can’t tackle these problems successfully unless or until you have good diagnostic testing and data.

You’ll find more information and resources on Behavior Problems and Discipline at

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198 Comments on "Getting Help for a Child with a Behavior Disorder"

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Hi i have a 4yr old boy who has epilepcy he has been on medication since he turn 3yrs old his behavior is really bad he has anger probloms he gets aggressive in points n he has a temper problom he also jumps around non stop and dont seem to lisen or doesent want to stop wen i tell him to..i been to a mental place for evaluation and they say his ok i when to a place called regional center and they say he has no autisum so i dont know what to do his like thus everyday ge just starded school pre-k 4days ago but he dont do that there til now….what do i do?

My son is 13 and he gets to highly angry very quickly. He brakes things, lies about me and doesn’t listen, what have been said.I make him healthy food, he doesn’t eat all it. Get angry when he plays games, if he doesn’t win.

If you have not done so, you can contact your state mental health agency.

I have a 12 year old that I adopted last year he has been with me for 3 years now he is in special ed has an IEP goes to counseling and OT and steals and lies on a daily basis and pees and poops his pants when he is mad at me because he knows how much it bothers me he has even told me that he does it to make me mad I am at my wits end with him and need help because I honestly don’t know if I can love him through it anymore

Your state mental health agency is a key place to contact.

I have a 10 yr old boy that does not lesson ,talks back ,and it`s never his fault even when he gets caught on video ! He has ADHD and AUTISM ! I only have INS because I had to quit my job because no one would take care of him now I live day by day ! can any one tell me ware I can get HELP ?

from my understanding if your child is so severe that you cant work because you have to care for him, you can get social security for support. check into it.

Have the same problem but i do work first shift father watches him while i work then he goes to work then i watch him its a challenge every day need help

If you have not done so, check with your state parent training & information center.

My daughter is 16 and has a diagnosis of Bipolar disorder and severe ADHD. This is her first year since fist grade that she is in a public school setting. She has had multiple incidences (5) for “cell phone violation to misconduct” at the public school and has been suspended several times. We have now been called to have an Emergency IEP meeting before the end of the school year to talk about placement for next school year. We do not want her to go back to an alternative setting. She needs to learn and adapt to “real life” situations. I think administration forgets that this is her first year and she has a disability, so there will bumps. At alternative schools you do not get the education or exposure she needs to succeed. Who can give me guidance on how to handle this upcoming meeting?

Your state parent training & information project will be able to assist you in regards to federal & state rules.

I tried that website with no response under any parameters I entered.. I tried different counties, different payment methods and different age ranges.

That’s my point no one helps they pass the by k when on Medicaid’s. I have tried 2 hospitals said he wasn’t that bad. Yes he is or I would not be calling. Doctors are like call here call there. And the one I got to see he bluffed his way right through it like a robot. Now what

Trying to get help for my little girl. She is going out of control. She is diagnosed with dmdd and odd. She is being violent towards her brothers and I. She is being sent home from school because she does not want to follow directions at school. (This is high school)
When she does not get her way she starts being violent towards everybody.
I had taken her and put her in the hospital. (Behaviorial hospital). They kept her there for 10 days. I told they she thinks it is a game. Took her to a hospital to get reevaluated. The discharged her and sent her home. I do have a cos case opened because I left a mark on her. But the cos case manager does really nothing to help me. Just tells me to take her back to the hospital to get reevaluated.
I am on my last leg to get help for her.

I am going threw the same thing in fact we just put my step daughter in a long term facility. she has been there for 3 months. it seems to be working a little. maybe try there the place she is in is in Mandeville la.

i believe we tried to get help for our son thirty years ago. I’m afraid everyone dropped the ball due to not knowing what to do with his issues. Now he has an inability to stand on his own in the adult world. I think he had a medical issue that was not diagnosed. He needs neurological testing. I’m not sure how I get that for him since he is now an adult.i think he is also aware that he had problems and wonders why he didn’t get the help he needed

I’m not sure what his “issues”,behavoirs,symptoms are,but there are different options inwhich I think could benefit him.There’s often places/mental healthcare that offer services for free and sliding scale(goes by what’s affordable by ur income).they can do a mental health assessment to help determine what can be done to help,treatments,additional information,resources and options for him.The first step is always recognizing the problem.Also I know that most cities have an “indigent” care program that provides some healthcare to people who can’t afford insurance/dont have any.
Don’t feel guilty or that you have failed him.You said you tried to get him help.He will love you regardless.The important thing is you are trying now!Society has had many advancements in the past thirty years also.

We recently moved to Brooklyn New York. I have three children and each have their own diagnoses. My 15 year old son is currently attending a school designed for Autistic children. My son is non-verbal with multiple delays. He has recently been coming home from school with multiple marks,asprain ankle and impressions of the heel of a shoe on his back and on his legs. I have reported this to local authorities along with the school but because he is non-verbal I am not getting anywhere. The school claims nothing happened along with the Bus driver. I am having my son transferred to another school but he has to continue at the current one till the transfer is complete. I want justice for my son. Please help. I can not afford a attorney.

Write an email to the deputy chancellor outlining what is gong on include dates, times, people’s names. Put your schools code or name, your child’s name in subject line. Then include his osis # in the email somewhere or in subject line is fine too. You can and should also file a police report when he has injuries like that consistently – and the school and bus driver are giving you the run around.

for parents any were listen put your kid in boot camp school to help there anger and disobaying your orders

What Free boot camp

There is one for free call the youth challenge program. They are usually held at a military base. Look one up in your area. This is where I have to send my son because he steals phones from people when we take his away for getting suspended multiple times.

That would be great but unfortunately that is not a cheap alternative. For a single parent on one income even a private school is out of the question.

Nobody mentioned private school!!! What are you talking about??? I saw mention of BOOT CAMP.

Really! That’s the answer? Do you have children either on the spectrum or with special needs? Behavioral issues are typically a direct response of neurological disorders!

My 8 year old is homicidal and I have another child living with me. I have set up alarm systems and traps to wake us up if he gets up in the middle of the night, our life has been threatened on numerous occasions and last night he threatened to burn the house down because I took away his Ipad. The “crisis” center and his case manager say I am over reacting because I feel terrified of what he can do to us next. He has come at my daughter with a steak knife and my mother as well (like pounced on top of her to stab her). Last night I had no support and was supposed to take this wound up child to the er by myself because of his age they will not TO him. He qualifies for a 30-90 program but the county will not pay for the schooling portion which is several hundreds of dollars a day. HELP

I’m experiencing the same thing with my son I’m looking for some type of program or boot camp but can’t afford it I need help as well


Have you had any luck? I have a 13 year old that has homicidal ideation and has set multiple fires in the past. He has been hospitalized 4 times in less than a year, he comes home again on Monday. No one is taking my family’s fears seriously. He has attacked his little brother who has a heart condition, he has deliberately tripped me with a pot of boiling water (I am legally blind), and he has threatened to set my oldest son on fire in his sleep. Two of my children sleep with their doors locked and I don’t sleep because every creek in the house I’m up making sure it’s not my son carrying out his threats. I have been told on many occasions that the lack of help comes down to the dollar and cents and who will pay. I pray that my family isn’t the next one on the news…

My son is 13 he is disrespectful. Lies and is doing bad in school picks on his little brother yells and refuses to take his punishment. I love My son but he needs help

Your state should have a mental health agency that could begin the process of determining what might be the reason(s) for your child’s behavior. Try to find this agency for your state.

We live in Michigan. Mental Health Agencies, in Michigan known as Community Mental Health(CMH), only serve people on Medicaid. Not sure if this is the case in other states, but at least in Michigan, the state provides no mental health services to working folks with private insurance.

This is an example of why it is important for parents, & the public to learn how their state handles health care.

Hi Carol,
My advice may not be the best as I am studying to be a teacher but I thought I would take a chance with this. What I would do is as far as school I would talk to his teachers and see what the problem is there. Then once you speak to the teacher maybe go to his guidance counselor or the principal and see if they would evaluate him to see if there is a mental imbalance in his brain that is causing him to act out. I would also see if you could get a behavior intervention plan into place at the school to maybe curb some of his behavior. As far as home have you tried punishments, rewarding good behavior, praise when seen doing something good?

Wow you just described everything I have done with my 12 year old he have been hospitalized 3 times for the same problems and for the life of me I can’t understand why he obsessed with guns just today he pulled a bb gun out on a child and the child reacted by hitting him and he cried cause he don’t thank he did anything wronG he lied at first and said the child hit him because somebody told him too but when I talked too the child with his mother p remission he told me he pulled that gun out on him I need some serious help

My 6 year old was suspended 3 times in 1st grade. His behavior was out of control. He hated school, started hating me because I was the one who dropped him at school. I would get a call everyday from the principal to pick him up. I begged for an assessment and to get an IEP for him. I fought everyday for him. They ruined him. I finally got an evaluation after being denied, trying to talk to the superintendent, I threatened to go to the school board. 1 1/2 years later, he was granted an assesment from the school and was diagnosed with High Functioning Autism and Oppositional Defiant Disorder. You have to fight. He lost his light by teachers telling him he was bad, when in reality it was frustration. Please fight!

Thanks for sharing , my son is in that same place right now.. when he was in the fourth grade a teacher was always sending him to the office for him not sitting a his chair , saying things when not asked to speak . and then tells me he has adhd go take him to the doctors, but buy then she had labeled him as the bad kid in school ..sorry I have difficulty beliving in teachers are to help our kids espeally out here in lausd school distict . 4 years have passed and he is behind those 4 years with a IEP .. I need to find some help ..

I suggest contacting your state parent training & information project.

I have been there. I watched the public school system drain the bright bubbly son of mine become depressed and withdrawn. He was killed in an auto accident at 14 driven by a friend while skipping school. I have been driven to share any and all info I have learned. It has become a passion. I hope your child is doing well! The best thing a parent can doing is take charge and educate themselves as much as possible about rights and school responsibilities. It’s tough! I’ve know lawyers who had special needs children go thru the same hassles getting proper services for their kids! So share ,share share with anyone one and everyone if they are asking questions or if you know they need advice!

I have an 11 year old boy who is in the 5th grade. he was bullied by 7 or 8 graders. I don’t know to what level it was done, all I know that all of the sudden he started not wanting to go back to school, every time I took him he would cry. there was a couple of times where he waited till I left and started walking back to my car. I would turn around and he would be right behind me. he is repeating the 5th grade now and the school where he is going now is saying that he will go back to 5th grade again, because he has been absent too many times. I think I need him in a boarding school but, they are expensive and I can’t afford one, I live in Chicago, please any help or any advice.

I have a 3 year old and i say he’s out of control. He doesnt mind, wont listen. When I ask him to do something he doesnt. When I ask him to stop hitting and being ugly to his 11 month old sister he looks at me and laughs. He beats his sister.When I spank, it does no good. When I take his toys and TV from him it doesn’t work. He screams at me he hits me cause I spank him. He screams at his sister he pushes her, he throws things at her. I just don’t know what to do anymore. can someone please help me?

I feel you, my 10year son is horrible to everyone in our family and he brings out the worst in me as his mom. I loved to see me lose it.
I can no longer deal with this, I’m open to recommendations for this

Contact your school district special needs preschool department and request an evaluation.

Are you consistently enforcing your rules? Also positively reinforcement of good behaviors does work. I recommend 123 magic.

Hi Savannah my name is Stephanie i am also going thru the same thing with my 3 yr old he’s constantly beating on his 6 yr old brother and i also tried the punishment techniques that you have and constantly having to pick him up from Headstart.. Im wondering if you have any information that was given to you that might work for us?

Savannah, I know all to well how you are feeling. I have a 5 year old that I went through the exact same thing with. He is the baby of 3 and his older brothers are 14 and 12. When I first started noticing the disruptive and aggressive behavior I started documenting everything and scoured the internet. I finally discussed the situation with his doctor and was given a referral to a children hospital for a mental and behavior evaluation. At the very first evaluation he was diagnosed with ADHD, Sensory Processing Disorder and ODD. Since then he has been receiving in home and out patient ABA therapy, the school has started him on an IEP as well. At our follow-up he was also diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder. I recommend talking with his dr and getting the help he may need. Best of luck

I have a child that has been aggressive and having strange behaviors and oppositional. He started at age three and now ten years later his behavior has improved but it is still not preventing him from getting suspended for defiance. I have to get him an IEP three times and he was found to not be cognitively impaired enough yet they know he continues to not behave the same as the other students and it feels like the just want to suspend him for anything they can to get him out of the school. His behaviors now are not really aggressive. He says no to adults. He doesn’t’ use drugs or bully kids or bring weapons to school. I am so at a loss for what to do as I have tried to get him help and had him in counseling but no one has given him a proper diagnosis it seems.

I am raising a child with reactive attachment disorder…so my life is hell and I’m starting to really resent this child yet I love him and don’t want to give up.I don’t know anyone else dealing with reactive attachment..therefore no one understands or believers what I’m going through

I have a 10 year old daughter. It was just me and her until she was 6. At age 8, my boyfriend (a wonderful man) moved in, he suffered a brain aneurysm and passed, and last January I was blessed with a baby boy. I understand my daughter has been through a lot. It was tough on both of us. Now she fights with me all day, every day for everything. She lies, she steals, she hits me, she has 0% respect for me and I don’t know what to do. She was never like this. Please give me advice. She is in equine therapy.

Can you get respite aid and/or staff at-home help from a local therapy/ABA center?

I have an 8 year old grandson who has just recently been diagnosed with aspergus disease he is having a lot of behavioral issues in school and keeps getting suspened I want to be able to help him and to nderstand this diesaese he is seeing a mental health counselor but I feel like the school he is in is very frustrated wit him and as a granndmother I don’t know how to help the school understand not all his behavior can be helped. I feel as I have no say in any matter and I’m afraid he is falling thru the cracks of the school system I’ve tried to talk to his parents to please talk to the school or at least allow his counselor the permission to talk to them but feel like I’m just butting heads with them as well. I want to see my grandson succed in life any sugestions would be helpful.

Kim..Im dealing with my ‘child’ falling through the cracks as well at his school…they justify and minimize his behaviors..cutting other students with scissors, himself, exposing himself..its hard because they aren’t helpimg him.they are ruling out aspergers for him..he has reactive attachment disorder..its by far one of the hardest diagnosis..and one that is deceiving to anyone outside the home…therefore it almost looks as if I’m ‘dramatizing’ his reported behaviors..i also want to ‘fix’Jayden to give him normalcy which he didn’t have for first five yuears of his life..that were most crucial years. I feel hopeless that I cannot get ‘educaters’ on board with me

I want to say I am a parent and an educator. I know from the outside it may look like the education system is failing but in some instances we are required to follow laws set forth by state and federal levels. If a child is harming other children, even with a diagnosed disability, the school has to adhere to the discipline policy implemented. This is due to the safety of all the children and staff.
On the other side, I have advocated for children that aren’t my own and felt the frustration as well, even though I know the protocol doesn’t make it any easier. As far as an IEP my state requires that children go through a TIER process of interventions with documentation and I find the child doesn’t show progress testing is referred. If you want more information please respond and I’ll help.

What if your child has been through the steps already and finally In fifth grade the child gives up and behavior impedes learning from lack of enjoyable learning and failure to have an identified learning disability but middle school denies prior knowledge and delays each step and now my son has been in school a week maybe, but now is so depressed from the physical and mental abuse brought from peers,teachers,principal and police, I dont know what to do next

Without knowing all that has been done, you could either look into online schooling or homeschooling OR obtain an advocacy attorney and have them help you. I wish you the best and keep advocating for your son. Request to see paperwork on what steps they are doing and ask for a policy on their IEP process and Personalized education plan or whatever your school system calls the steps and interventions prior to an IEP. Has your pediatrician administered any testing or have you sought counseling? I’m asking because, again without more details, it sounds as though your son may suffer from Oppositional defiance disorder. In any case keep advocating for your son. And be open to accepting that he may be doing what they have said has happened in school but ask what you can do as a team.

Im trying and that has now gotten me two cps allegation assessments and a severely depressed adolescent with nowhere to turn, it gets ugly if u dont backdown

I have a son with autium/ADHD he was diagnosed in a TX district. at the age of three I moved to another Texas district, they decided to test my son again for autium. I disagree. Was stressed out and frustrated because my opinion didn’t matter to the second district.
I feel that they tested him again for school rating. he was not up for his three years evaluation(ARK)but they did it anyways. I strongly disagree – was under a lot of pressure behind this. They dismissed his case, took son out of special education and threw him off the school bus cause he was no longer eligible. I need help.

its hard to hear any diagnosis. so when you get one you don’t agree with its harder. has he been seen by psychologist?? I’m sorry for all of us going through this with our children..we are strong.

Found this info very informative for myself. I too have a 16 year old who has been placed in the 10th and still take some 9th grade classes. This has been hard for me since 1st grade and I only manage to get very very little help and not only am I depressed I myself also have anxiety issues. Any info or advice at this point is very helpful.

How do you get a 14 year old boy to a psychiatrist if he refuses to go to one?

I have same problem. My son is 11 but looks like he is 17

My nephew has sensory processing disorder and ptsd. we had his iep done and a program set up. his school that he attends has suspended him 5 times since school started. I am trying to find any info on his rights for a child that has his disabilities. we live in nys. can anyone help?

Thank you everyone for you share. I thought I was alone. My 11 year old son is so inappropriate w/ siblings, other children and all others,, absolutely lazy, so impatient, has hardly any friends, trows fits on the ground, lies, steals, calls me names, puts his hand up to hit me and pushes me, get horrible grades, gives me the finger and says I’m white trash, teaches his brother to be crude at 6 year old, and has scared most of my friends away. I really thought he was just badly behaved, but I now realize that he must have a mental illness. His father is bipolar and mental illness runs in my family. Im just so sad because I feel like I did this… I used to spoil him with everything until met my husband and had two more children. I have to get him some help fast. God help me!

My son is 12 and just recently suspended from school and has been misbehaving at home and disrespecting his mom by yelling at her calling her mean names and we don’t know where to start on talking to him to get to the bottom of this we are all out of idea’s. Thank you very much

I have a 7 year old. He was diagnosed with ADD at the end of his kindergarten year. He started meds and had a decent year for first grade and at the end of the year started having behaviors. Now we are to 2nd grade two weeks in and the behaviors are there. His meds were increased. He does have an IEP and is what they call a kinestetic learner. I want him to succeed and he gets so angry in the classroom and gets up walking around and just refusing to do work. I don’t know what else to do.

My grandson is 8 years old he has ADHD and ODD with new 1 month behavior problems

Christina, Whats been going on the last 4 months? Has he improved or what steps have you or the school taken?

Hi, I just skimmed the website but had to share that my son is diagnosed with highfunctioning autism. As we know, this causes his brain to work differently, considering behaviors and how he learns. It was his third day of preschool and there was an unannounced fire alarm, which I was warned about since I teach second grade at the same school. My son has sensory issues so the loud noise and unpredictability of the alarm caused his day to “be off”. I taught kinder for several years prior and we have had kids screaming, not crying, an entire week or more. On the day of the alarm, I received compliments about how well he had been behaving in the hallway going to lunch. However, I am told, on this third day of the fire drill, that he needs to be in a DDPre classroom for behavior.

My son and daughter went to an out of zone, but same district, school for 2 years. They finally did an IEP for him and her this past May of 2016. The IEP says he’s significantly improved this year. They gave him hugs and told him and myself, mother, how great he’s done throughout the year. Well filled paperwork out for them to attend again for this 3rd year. I received a letter saying it’s been denied. I found out through the school board that the school denied my son for behavior, saying “no return for behavior.” My son said,” I thought was doing better?” I told him he was. He was not suspended at all this past year. Not like he did 2 years ago at his zoned school, which is still in the same district. The school board goes by zip code. I volunteer daily at this school.

Here’s the bottom line. Some kids are “bad” and can’t be fixed. I have a nephew who has been suspended over 20 times for fighting, disruption, bullying, cursing the teacher, etc. He will punch a kid in the middle of class just because he thinks its funny. He has no problem taking a swipe at a teacher either. Oh, he doesn’t need an audience either, he will corner another child in private to terrorize him or her. Then lie about it. In fact, he lies about everything. He has physically attacked his mother, father, and other relatives. He has been “evaluated” by psychologists and a psychiatrist. He has been medicated and medication free. He has been placed in alternative education and even reform school. He plays the “professionals” for fools. There is no help for this boy.

There’s ALWAYS help for eEVERYONE!!! it just hasn’t been found yet

I have a daughter who is 6. We have had behavior problems with her since she was 3. She is fine until she doesn’t get her way. She refuses to not get her way and throws huge screaming fits until she gets what she wants. This is the way she is at home and at school. She is on her 3rd school and is about to get kicked out of there too as she is disrupting the rest of the class. We walk on eggshells around her so she doesn’t explode and terrorize my other 2 children. Yesterday I was called by her teacher to get her evaluated. I have tried for 3 months to find a therapist to see her through our insurance company and no one calls back. I have literally called over 20 therapists with no luck. I am so stressed out and don’t know what to do.

My son is kinda like that too. I don’t know what to do either. My son is 3.

NAMI is in your area, or go online to website to check out their materials. My daughter is doing so much better since I joined this free support for families with mental illness. This is a disease, not a behavior problem, in most instances. The resources within the NAMI community will help you find help for you and your daughter. There are free support group meetings and classes. Be strong and educate yourself, then fight back against this system that has yet to embrace these devastating diseases!!

I have 3 children, 2 boys 1 girl ages 16,12,10. they all have problems such as add, ADHD, bipolar, PTSD, dandy-walker. my problem isn’t with schooling they’re good at school. it’s at home. they all 3 gang up on each other and it’s like world war 3 in my home everyday. they punch, hit, throw things at each other. their dad is out on the road 5 days a week so he’s gone, but when he is home they’re angels. what am I to do?

This sounds very familiar to my situation. My heart goes out to you!

I have a 7 yr old son that is having behavior problems at school all this school year and it’s progressing worse all the time. He was diagnosed with an intellectual disability recently. He has an IEP and mental health program working with him including a behavior intervention specialist/ one on one. Everyday I get calls about his behavior being restrained or secluded at school. I have tried to talk to him and he either laughs at me, gets mad, or says the big kids at school said it or they’re being mean to him. My son swears really bad, gets aggressive or inappropriate behavior. I have taken him to two psychiatrists for behavior one evaluated him and said intellectual disabilities and the other said medication but no diagnosis. I think more posts s going on with him that is said. I’m use to a happy smiling all the time Iittle boy. I didn’t use to see this behavior at home but lately it has gotten more aggressive. I want to be able to help my son, he means the world to me. I want my son back, he’s like a total different little boy. Please help!!

Hi Stacy my 10 year old daughter has the same issues. I just had genetic testing/DNA done on her. She also has seen a neurologist for an EEG for seizures and I went back and they did reflex test on her and she has no reflex in the back of her feet which indicates something neurological is going on. I have gone through several doctors, and her behavior is so out of control every where. She is my world and has always has problems. She can not remember to spell her name at times. They have a chromosome that stops meds from working and also can have sensory dysfunction disorder. Our brains know how to separate information from what is important and what is not their brains get everything in one box.

It sounds like you need help beyond what the school is offering. I suggest contacting your state parent training & information project. They can also help you in determining if the school is doing all that they could.

My daughter is 8 years and she is on meds and sees a psychiatrist. But lately here home behavior is worse and worse. It is just her and I in the home. Its either hot or cold with her, there is no inbetween. She is either hitting me with all heer might or loving me like there is never anything wrong. The hitting is getting worse and worse everyday, she is not a small eight year old, she is starting to leave bruises on me. Do any of you have any suggestions to help me out what to do next? Her behavior at school is not the best either. She gets suspended a lot but doesn’t qualify for an IEP. I feel like I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Push harder for an IEP. Ask your school if there are any other programs available for behavior issues. Did they do the assessment for the IEP and determine she had no special needs, or did they just discourage you from starting the IEP process? If you have not done the IEP process, put your IEP request in writing. By law they have to respond to it within a certain time limit if you have it in writing.

An IEP is exactly that, an individual education plan, that will not help with home behavior. Consistency, whatever the discipline is going to be it needs to be consistently done, that is what an IEP says a school must do.

My son is eleven years old and he has seen a psychiatrist for behavior problems. They seem to find nothing to diagnose him with. The school said my son threatened a teacher and later the PRP worker told the principal that he threatened to kill everyone in the school. He had a hospital evaluation and they saw nothing. I do not know who to believe because my son says he didn’t say that, but the teacher and PRP worker said he did. I am lost in helping my son. Can anyone relate?

I had same problem with my son he got transported to mental facility for making a threat. The school does nothing to help him anymore. The plan he is on is not helping at all. He hates school.

My daughter is in the end grade and she keeps getting suspended for 10days at a time and she’s not learning anything .I have had her evaluated for the IEP and they said she doesn’t qualify for one but yet she’s not learning and is constantly getting suspended. I have requested a IEE and I am going through this process now .In the meantime she is up for expulsion at 8yrs old.I don’t know what to do no child should be expelled at that age or grade .what am I to do she goes to counseling in school and out of school .The school system is failing my daughter .NO CHILD LEFT BEHIND. Is Crap cause that’s exactly what they are doing .HELP

What if the behavior is a result of neglect within the school system as we are dealing with? The school wants to blame our daughter and pin a behavioral plan on her and ignore the fact they have violated her educational rights ( which we have already proven with an investigation into the program). What do we do?

Chiara – I don’t think you understand your and your child’s rights. Parents have a responsibility to be the primary educators of their children. When you give your children’s education to state programs, all kinds of things go awry.

I have a three year old son who is delayed, autistic, and no one can help me because of the simple face he is very young. I know he has them problem. He dont sleep, he is destructive, disrespectful, and i have tried everything i possibly know how to do to help him. I need help or advice to help me help him

You can try the Regional Center in your area for testing. I would do this ASAP. You can also try your school district if they have preschool programs. I can tell you that my local district
totally blows off anyone unless they have an attorney to help them. It is so ridiculous that they pay large amounts to the attorney when that money could go hiring the teachers needed to help the students.

my daughter is very disrespectful at home all the time but out in public it is a total different story

my grandson who i am raising has the same problem at school he does everything they want him to do . He is a perfect there but at home he yells he hits the walls throws things if you say one little word to set him off says bad words tells his PA PA i dont like you I WANT YOU GONE. Then later he will say im sorry. We are at our wits end we dont know what to do.

i have a 16 year old who is in 9th grade. he is so jealous of his dad at being happy. he destroyed his dads last marriage. he cant stop telling lies. he talks to hisself and answers hisself. he will steal things and goes against our house rules. last night he had been taking a bath and he was saying i got rid of his other and i will get rid of her to. he has threaten to throw his dad in prison because he doesnt want to do what he is suppose to do. please help me cause i cant take his anger or not doing anything at all. i am taking nerve medicine just to be able to stand being in the same room. and there has been many nights that i would not sleep because i was afraid he would hurt us. his dad keeps saying he will grow out of . but it has been going on since 4 years ago

My son is 16 years old and is in the 10th grade. I am concern with everything going on with him because he has got to the point where is doesn’t care about his grades and there is always an excuse as to why he is not passing. Out of 8 classes he is only passing 2 of them. I had to give him a drug test because he was and I believe he still is using marijuana. I feel like I am at my wits end and I really don’t know what to do anymore. Some times he will walk around angry and won’t talk and then a few hours later he is fine. I honestly feel like I am losing my son and don’t know what else there is for me to do to get him back. I also have a 12 year old who sees all of this and I don’t want him to head in the same direction but he is trying hard not to be anything like his brother.

Debra, You posted a few months ago about Scott’s Valley Boarding school in Oregon. I am very interested in more what you have to say about this school.

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