Protecting Bullies, Not the Bullied, Seems to be the Rule in Our Schools

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In Mass, parents are reporting that their children are refusing to go to class, have dropped out of sports, stopped trying to socialize, refused to go to class and in some cases had to change schools – all because they are being bullied.

Allegedly girls with special needs are being photographed in the bathroom, then pictures posted on FB. Parents report kids are being attacked on the bus or beaten up at elementary school.

Even worse, some bullied children have attempted or threatened suicide. On Jan. 14, Phoebe Prince died of an apparent suicide after incessant bullying by classmates.

Who is investigating? It appears that the school system is investigating itself and… they “apologize for the delay.”

The school says, “There have been in our investigation some kids on their family’s – or family’s lawyer’s – recommendation that have not spoken to us,” Edward Boisselle, chairman of the South Hadley School Committee, told the Herald yesterday … But a determined Boisselle vowed that lawyers won’t keep school officials from completing their investigation by week’s end and meting out ‘severe’ punishment… I apologize for what appears to be delays, sweeping this under the rug. It’s a process. It’s not an easy investigation.”

“Separately, Northwestern District Attorney Elizabeth Scheibel is leading a criminal investigation into Prince’s death. Charges have not been brought.”

Last we heard, school officials aren’t law enforcement agents, nor are they trained investigators. Are chairmen of school districts and committees trained investigators?

The school did not protect this girl. The school is on notice about many other kids who are being bullied, yet they did nothing until news of the girl’s suicide broke.

“The state  Education Commissioner Mitchell D. Chester is “calling on every school to ‘be clear’ about the ‘conduct and consequences’ of  bullying …  “We encourage schools to take this on.”

“To be clear about the conduct and consequences of bullying?” Consequences? There are no consequences when schools don’t protect kids.

“We ENCOURAGE schools to take this on?” If they feel like it? The state Education Commissioner doesn’t ORDER them to change their ways?

Sickening. We hate to think what Phoebe Prince’s parents are going through now, and for the rest of their lives. We don’t have a sense that the Education commission, Chairman, or other administrators understand or care what this does to defenseless kids.

As of September 2009, HRSA reports that Massachusetts is one of ten states that has no laws on bullying.  Check to see if your state has laws on bullying here.

From Bullied Kids Helpless Against Attacks from the Boston Herald at

Many parents also report that when they informed the school their children were being bullied, the school did nothing. “One struggling mother turned in her own son, a bully, hoping the school would do something. It didn’t.”  Read Parents’ Pleas Fall on Deaf Ears from the Boston Herald at

Teen Suicide Prompts Look at Bullying from the Boston Globe at

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Wow what happens to students with disabilities is so sad. Its happening to my son as well. Son has Autism and misses a lot of social cues. He is in fifth grade and and is being bullied by the class and his teacher. He has been shoved inside of a locker, locked inside of the classroom closet. Another time the teacher mercilessly berated him in front of the entire class and called all sorts of names. I am heartbroken for him. Conversation with the principal and Sped director have done nothing to discipline everyone else. My son is the one that got detention and suspension!


My son with Autism and ADHD is in a private school and recently the other kids have been picking fun at him. They call his names like Stupid and Retarded. I have tried complaining to the Principal and my sons teacher but they do nothing about it. They say my son needs to toughen up and deal with it. His teacher makes him cry and embarrasses him every chance she gets. When he does complain he gets punished and misses lunch and has recently been excluded from an end of school year party? I am seriously considering pulling him out. What can I do to make this school be held responsible? Its a private school.


Being a private school makes it tough to do that. They should have a board of directors. They could take action if they wanted to. The school may be certified by some state or national agency or association. A complaint to them might cause some change. Sorry to hear what your child is dealing with.


My son goes to preschool he’s 4. Two days ago my sons teachers said he and his arch nemesis were at it. My son got in a wrestling stance. The kid screamed Teachers came in the room and saw my son. Believing he instigated it they said
“it was agressive, it set the other kid off”. Nobody got hurt.My son just got in his stance.
There was a incident before that a week ago. Teachers never saw anything just the tail end. And my son got scratched bad! So they sit the two together “kid is so and so your friend?” The kid replied yes
It was asked to my son. My son said “no!”
My son was corrected “yes he is” the teacher replied. “Because friends don’t hurt friends”
Which pisses me off because my son got hurt and he’s sapposed to consider the bully his friend. Bad message!


My autistic child is being bullied and it is affecting his right to a FAPE. I tried talking with the school but they don’t seem to care at all. This a private school. My son ended up punching a child in the face that was bullying him. Other kids jumped on my son and my son got suspended. He was accused of starting the fight and was suspended for ten days. This is a private school so what can I do? Can I appeal this at all?


Ha!! it’s not only with kids in school, Most recently we moved, mistakenly, into an apartment complex next door to a unit with 5 party girls living there and their thug boyfriends coming around all the time. The girls would park in front blasting their music after midnight on a week night even, annoying everyone. When I went out and yelled at one of them I ended up with her thug boyfriend, twice my size and half my age (I’m 52) threatening me.

The kicker is that when I called the police, they actually admonished me for yelling at the party girl, and claimed that this goon repeatedly pounding on my door at 1 in the morning threatening me was nothing more than “knocking” on the door and it was all somehow my fault. We broke our lease and moved BTW. The police are a joke these days.


Its not right,I am bullyed to and I was arrested for defending my self. But nothing happened to the bully’s. So will I sat in a concrete cell missing my family they were having the time of ther lives.


In elementary school my son was being picked on my kids. But since he was so large for his age and all the other kids or much smaller the school did not believe that he was being bullied. He was afraid to go to school because of a certain group of kids were consistently slapping him and pushing him around. My son is a gentle, meek Giant. So he went his entire Elementary School career and constant torment. Now he is in junior high and this six foot tall and over 200 pounds and is still the largest kid in school. The same kids try to bully him and slap him around but now he has decided that he has had enough. So now he has been suspended three times for beating up the bullies. Nothing has happened to the bullies as far as punishment for their actions. Only my child.


Staff at your state parent training and information center will know your state rules on bullying and may be able to give you some suggestions.


My daughter was recently bullied again. The ironic thing is that when I reported the situation for the first time to school counselor, I was told or made me believe that she was going to do something about it.. my daughter stood up and got hurt. I went to talk to the principal and counselor and said part of it was their fault for not doing anything. They did intervene after. Now, it’s happening again, different kids, same school. I requested all of my daughters teachers to be present. Some of them, didn’t show up. The ones present, said they didn’t know about the situation. When I asked the counselor the reason teachers were not informed, they said it was a matter of confidentiality. I didn’t believe it. We must stand up and speak up till something is done to stop bullying at schools.


Our school is bullying our family out. My son is smart with a GIEP and when we ask to have a meeting with the teacher because we have questions. They have administration there to intimidate and only allow 1/2 hour. My son feels targeted and he is being treated differently because we advocated for more instruction as required by the GIEP in PA. I think it is Administration including the Superintendent.



Reading your post I can definitely see they are bullying your family out. When parents advocate and know the law schools do anything to get rid of you. Hopefully we will see the day when parents no longer have to fight to make sure their children receiver proper education. How was situation handled? Did you end up doing a different placement? I am just curious.

An autistic achiever

While bullying is considered a crime in Michigan, my school takes it just as seriously as the school aforementioned I’m a student who has depression set on from school bullying since kindergarten. Recently, the way bullying is treated here has made my blood boil. As a result, I formed a petition to bring this to the principal’s attention. I feel that saying “ignore them” is a cop out so don’t have to go deeper than telling the bullies “don’t do that”, and this is a HIGH SCHOOL principal, I might add. And these kids (they don’t deserve to even be called high schoolers) are constantly harassing others. I can’t even go a week without my friends or myself being harassed at least once. And I needed to call the crisis hotline twice, and could not get a safe,private place to call. It’s ridiculous


When school officials are complicit or negligent when it comes to bullying, it serves them right to get sued and hopefully defeated in court. I hate it when school officials treat or appear to treat all bullies as the victims and all bullied victims as the villains or aggressors or instigators. Shame on these school officials!


This is exactly what I am going through. My son was physically assaulted 2 times by another boy. The boy harasses him and until it was caught on a bus camera and we call the sheriff the school was going to do nothing about it. Now we are to have a meeting today and I am at a loss as what to do except protect my son at all costs.


Parents have to be aware that some of the “bullies” are protected by case workers, court systems, social workers, advocates and may even be in foster care–so they have a whole CARE team. Principals will ACCOMMODATE those care teams quickly to make their jobs easier. I have seen this. One strategy is to document and call child care services in your state as abuse is abuse. It is not going to get any better unless the administrators know you will act. Otherwise they will ACCOMMODATE those other parties. You have to become one of those OTHER parties and involve others to protect your child. In some school districts where administrators are torn, that is what parents have to do to protect their kids, and start going to ALL the BOE meetings, that will make them listen as you are now INVOLVED.


I have discovered the same thing. It must be much easier on administration to blame the victim! They even turned the tables and tried to punish my child for a story the bullies concocted together, which was proven to be false. I won’t let this go anymore. I am so upset at how the school has treated my child! They should be ashamed.


We learn that when a teacher bullies your child and you go to the school to talk to the principal to help your child, they will call child protective services on *you*. This is what happen to my son when his wife went to the school to talk to the principal about their daughter being bullied by a teacher. That same evening a social worker showed up at their home. The social worker spoke to the child alone and said “we can,t say who, but someone at the school called”. Nothing was done to about the was not investigated and Child Protective Services said that there was nothing that can be done about someone calling in and giving a false report out of retaliation.