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Getting Help for a Child with a Behavior Disorder

by Wrightslaw

My son is in the 10th grade. He has a behavior disorder and he can’t control himself at times. The school does not understand when he gets agitated and angry. They just suspend him and deprive him of his education.

You say your son has a behavior disorder. Many kids with learning disabilities develop behavior problems. If the school doesn’t teach them the skills they need, they become angry, frustrated, and depressed. Then the school labels them as “behavior disordered” or “emotionally disturbed.”

  • Is he under the care of a mental health professional?

If not, he needs this right away.

By suspending him repeatedly, the school is putting him at high risk for dropping out.

  • Does he have an IEP?

If yes, what services is the school supposed to provide? Are they providing these services?

  • If he doesn’t have an IEP, you should get an evaluation by an independent evaluator.

The evaluator will determine what his needs are and what type of educational program he needs. The evaluator can help advocate for him with the school. A mental health person can also help you learn how to advocate for him.

At this point, you have educators who have little or no training in mental health and behavioral problems dealing with him, mainly by suspending him (which isn’t a punishment for many kids).

  • Is he under the care of a child psychiatrist?

If not, that’s your first step. You also need to get a comprehensive evaluation to find out what is going on with him, why he can’t control himself, and how to help him get himself under control. The child psychiatrist should be able to recommend a good child or neuro-psychologist.

Bottom line: You can’t tackle these problems successfully unless or until you have good diagnostic testing and data.

You’ll find more information and resources on Behavior Problems and Discipline at

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102 Comments on "Getting Help for a Child with a Behavior Disorder"


My daughter is in the end grade and she keeps getting suspended for 10days at a time and she’s not learning anything .I have had her evaluated for the IEP and they said she doesn’t qualify for one but yet she’s not learning and is constantly getting suspended. I have requested a IEE and I am going through this process now .In the meantime she is up for expulsion at 8yrs old.I don’t know what to do no child should be expelled at that age or grade .what am I to do she goes to counseling in school and out of school .The school system is failing my daughter .NO CHILD LEFT BEHIND. Is Crap cause that’s exactly what they are doing .HELP


What if the behavior is a result of neglect within the school system as we are dealing with? The school wants to blame our daughter and pin a behavioral plan on her and ignore the fact they have violated her educational rights ( which we have already proven with an investigation into the program). What do we do?


I have a three year old son who is delayed, autistic, and no one can help me because of the simple face he is very young. I know he has them problem. He dont sleep, he is destructive, disrespectful, and i have tried everything i possibly know how to do to help him. I need help or advice to help me help him


my daughter is very disrespectful at home all the time but out in public it is a total different story


i have a 16 year old who is in 9th grade. he is so jealous of his dad at being happy. he destroyed his dads last marriage. he cant stop telling lies. he talks to hisself and answers hisself. he will steal things and goes against our house rules. last night he had been taking a bath and he was saying i got rid of his other and i will get rid of her to. he has threaten to throw his dad in prison because he doesnt want to do what he is suppose to do. please help me cause i cant take his anger or not doing anything at all. i am taking nerve medicine just to be able to stand being in the same room. and there has been many nights that i would not sleep because i was afraid he would hurt us. his dad keeps saying he will grow out of . but it has been going on since 4 years ago