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Help! I Need Some Support at the IEP Meeting

by Wrightslaw

Are you anxious about attending your IEP meeting? Would you like someone to attend with you who can help you get quality services for your child. Don’t know where to start?

In the beginning, this process seems overwhelming to most parents, so you are not alone. Ultimately, you will need to learn how to be an advocate for your child. Parents are responsible for looking out for their children’s interests.

Information and resources are available.

Wrightslaw Yellow Pages for Kids with DisabilitiesGo to the Yellow Pages for Kids web site page for your state and look through the listings. Advocates are listed.

Also contact the Parent Information Training Center for your state. They have training programs and may have staff who attend IEP meetings with parents.

See what training your state Parent Information Center offers.

If we are in your area, try to attend one of our Wrightslaw Special Education Law and Advocacy programs.

If you cannot travel to training, you can train at home at your convenience with Wrightslaw Training on CD-ROM.

You can learn a great deal by reading articles on the Wrightslaw web site.

Read these articles:

Advocating for Your Child – Getting Started. Good special education services are intensive and expensive. Resources are limited. If you have a child with special needs, you may wind up battling the school district for the services your child needs. To prevail, you need information, skills, and tools. (

Game Plan for New Parents. Introductory article; focuses on importance of planning and preparation. (

Help! How to Find an Educational Consultant, Advocate, Attorney. Strategies to find an educational consultant, advocate or attorney who represents children with disabilities. (

Parent Advocacy: What You Should Do – and Not Do. Good advice from attorney Leslie Margolis about steps parents can take to get quality educational services for their children with disabilities. (

Here is a link to “Summer School for Parents.” If you take this 6 part course, you will learn many of the skills you need to be your child’s advocate. (

Learn from Others – Join a Parent Group. Advice about finding and joining a parent study or support group. (

Good luck!

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22 Comments on "Help! I Need Some Support at the IEP Meeting"

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12/30/2013 4:08 am

The school has been payiing for a unique placement for my son for the last four years WHTOUT an IEP (I filed a 10 day letter of intent to place him in a private school at public expense and then we mediated). The term of that agreement is up. Now they want to have an IEP and state they aren’t sure why there wasn’t one for the last four years. My son has made TREMENDOUS progress. I’ve instituted stayput but now they want to also change the agreement which would also change my son’s graduation requirements… Read more »

07/11/2013 10:13 am

Understanding the closing the gap thing.. My son has made progress but the gap continues to widen, The District knows it continues to widen, but claims because he’s maintaining that everythings ok. The word maintaining is the issue.. what are my options in respect to him maintaining and the gap not closing. What do I need to do, they have the comparisons where some 10 to 20 point drops are seen. They have the recent report where it states the gap is not closing. Some of the CELF scores from 2009 to 2013 have decreased. Shows where some… Read more »

03/12/2013 11:54 pm

Is it legal to take a child with an IEP in OK state, out of his regular daily science class everyday for 3-4 weeks, in order to prepare for the state test? He is good at math, always As, yet he is preparing for state test. His math grade will be accounted for a science grad in which he has a D. He never does homework & plays around in class, but never gets consequences for this. No one communicates with me! They told him to tell me, but he couldn’t explain. He’s 12 with autism, ODD, ADHD.… Read more »

Sharon L.
05/29/2010 11:15 am

Monica, The first thing I would do is schedule an IEP meeting to go over the progress of your son. Explain to the person setting up the meeting that you intent is to go over the reading program that they are supposed to be doing. If they come to the meeting without any results you need to discuss this and get a commitment as to what they are doing. They must follow the IEP. It is the law. If not they must provide you with an explanation of what is going on. My son… Read more »

05/27/2010 10:10 am

I need help, my son has reading problems and they say that the reading sol cannot be read to him. Is that true? And they told me and it was on his iep they were going to start a reading program. They never started the whole year. It was one excuse after another and he is sick to his stomach about the reading english sol. He is in the 6 th grade.

02/04/2010 4:38 pm

I was looking for a free downloadable book if you have one. We are having some big problems with a school. And they are trying to strong arm us into doing what they want.

03/27/2009 10:41 am

My Autisic child is 17 and have had help through the years but now the behaviors are really kicking up and new teacher who wants to be in control of everything. I feel I am being slammed and feel they are on the side of the teacher not to make rifts. Any suggestions before transition to adulthood.

03/11/2009 9:09 pm

SPED has called a meeting to discuss my complaint letter to them regarding services that have not been provided for my son. I told them I want to bring my advocate and also my cousin who is knowledgeable about SPED and also advocates for me. SPED told me I can only bring the advocate but anyone else cannot speak on my behalf….is this true? it is not a formal IEP meeting by the way…

02/04/2009 12:40 pm

My son, a junior in HS, is a person with Asperger’s. He has been on an IEP since pre-school. He is currently fully included in his high school including two honors and one AP level class.

Somehow, neither his educational nor psychological evals have been updated since his 2nd grade triennial. We have just been asked to schedule his annual IEP. We are goign to ask for these evals to be updated, mostly because we will need something current to take to college next year. Of course the school system doesn’t want to provide them for… Read more »

10/15/2015 3:22 pm

You should submit for a multi-factored evaluation and with that you should get a copy of the evaluation team report. If they have not done so with him being 17, should have post secondary transition in his IEP ( #4 & 5) and have had future planning. Normally a MFE/ETR are done every 2-3 years. Just because you said no on one occasion, does not mean you can not request it be done. Request it in writing, the have 30-45 days to evaluate and call a meeting to discuss findings and address if any… Read more »

01/30/2009 9:59 pm

I am looking for the specific law focusing on regular ed teachers following/not following accomodations on an IEP. I am a SPED teacher dealing with a regular ed teacher who does not want to cooperate in implementing the accomodations. I have relayed the importance of following the IEP and the law, but I still have resistance. I want to be able to show the exact law but there is so much, I’m not sure where to look.

01/23/2009 2:29 pm


The NM PTI has Adobe Corp Volunteers who assist parents with letters & attend meetings with parents.

01/07/2009 2:00 pm


The North Carolina, Oregon & Louisiana PTI’s provide parents to attend IEP meetings. I believe that I have seen some other PTI’s that provide this, but I am still looking.

01/06/2009 8:00 pm


PRO*Parents of SC, Federation of Families, Family Connection of SC, SC Autism Society, NAMI of SC
All of these organizations offer workshops/conferences for parents. Most of them are FREE! I am not sure about any of these organizations attending IEP meetings, but parents KNOWLEDGE is POWER! We can become effective advocates for our children. Attend workshops, just like Pat Howey said, behave as if you were trying to catch the flu, expose yourself to as many opportunities to advocate as possible!

Also, SC has a new pilot project-IEP Facilitation-since it is only a pilot project, it is… Read more »

Ron D
01/06/2009 1:00 pm

We have been advocating for our son, teachers, administrators and medically related providers for 10 years. We keep getting back to two overarching guiding lights. The first is very hard to do but wrights law and publications have helped us – always be data driven, and put your emotions on hold during interaction. Share emotions with family, spouse, friends, but not the IEP team it – no one can dispute data.

Secondly, you as the parent are the sole drivers of your child’s life. It does take a village and many resources to raise a child, but the buck stops here… Read more »

01/06/2009 11:32 am


A great resource for parents who need support at school meetings such as IEP meetings is a parent mentor. Ohio has 80 plus parent mentor projects, through local school district and their services are free to families. All parent mentors are also parents of children with disabilities and have years of experience and training to help other families. Check out your local district to see if one is near you! (

01/05/2009 12:52 pm

Educate yourself on your rights, your child’s rights, and also the rights the school has. We have been fighting our schools for 11 years now. When they do not agree with our professionals it is a constant battle. Teachers who are unqualified to diagnose believe they know best. You the parent, know your child best. Fight for what will make his or her education easier for them. Our school must provide our son the education he deserves no matter what their inconvenience. They get funding, make sure they use it for your child’s education. Above all, do not be intimidated.… Read more »

12/28/2008 1:15 pm

Using a mission statement for what it is you are trying to accomplish will keep you from the common power struggles.

We want our son to receive meaningful educational services that would allow him to go onto higher learning and be independent to the fullest extent possible.

This means only considering proposals that offer an educational benefit that is measurable and contributes to this goal.

Advocates can be helpful but I would use them as your on the job counselor. Your child’s disability goes beyond school and you need to be their advocate for success in all areas of life.

There are no spectator… Read more »

12/19/2008 12:39 pm


Some Parent Training & Information Centers have trained parents through out their state to attend IEP meetings with other parents. The TX center has begun doing this. (