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Christine: My daughter is 4 yrs old. She behaves perfectly in school however at she is defiant, does not follow any directions and started talking back and fibbing. Anything I or dad tries does not work or help. Any one with any answers? I’m to the point to find a special school to help( military or any such).

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Have her tested privately for behavior, possible learning disabilities by a licensed psychologist. If the results indicate specific areas of concern, please follow up. Consult Wrights Law, State Board of Education, special education instructor, whatever you can find. With knowledge of possible difficulties and solutions available (mandated by federal law), you can possibly prevent serious consequences in the future (speaking from experience unfortunately). Advocate for your child in early development. It may work wonders!


Hi, Christine!
Your baby is only 4 and there is something going on that is making her behave inappropriately. If she cannot tell you, you will have to observe her to figure out why she is non-compliant! I’ve been there and the only way I was able to help my baby was by observing her behavior. When was this occurring, how often it was occurring and so forth. Come to find out, my baby was frustrated and overwhelmed with the demands of school and therapy. Once I cut back on therapy sessions and spoke with the teachers of the demands of homework packets, my baby settled down. Hope this helps!


This isn’t a special ed question, but here goes: At age four, fibbing is part of life. What you will need to do is take a huge step back with your expectations. Strengthen your relationship with her, and start small. Find a couple of things where she will cooperate. Build from there. (You can have her evaluated, if you suspect there’s a mental health or neurological issue; you can observe her in school to see if their expectations are too stressful for her, resulting in her self-control shutting off when she gets home.) A good therapist can help; make sure she’s getting plenty of affection and physical attention; give away the TV and electronics. (Just my personal opinion!)