Why You Need to Ask "Dumb" Questions by Pat Howey

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"I'm just a parent. This is probably a dumb question but ... "

Most of us who are parents/advocates started out the same way -- inexperienced about special education. There is a difference between being "dumb" and being "uninformed."

If you are like me, no one provided or volunteered you with any information about where to start, what to do, whom to contact, or what to ask. I learned from the "School of Hard Knocks" (where, by the way, the school colors are Black & Blue). Most of my questions were "dumb."

No matter how "dumb" your questions may seem, they are probably far more intelligent than the questions I asked when I entered the "maze." I appreciate the patience of those people who walked me through the maze.

The parents of preschoolers I meet today are much more sophisticated than I was when my daughter entered kindergarten -- and had been in the "system" for four years.

I was so "dumb" that I provided a desk for my daughter when she was in first grade. I was so "dumb" that I didn't know that if the school did not have an appropriate desk on hand, they had to provide one.

I was so "dumb" that I provided my daughter's transportation during kindergarten and first grade, although my other children rode the school bus. I was so "dumb" that I didn't know the school was required to provide appropriate transportation for my child if she could not ride a regular school bus. I was so "dumb" that I didn't know that the school had to reimburse me if I transported her.

I was so "dumb" that when my daughter was in first grade, her father or I went to school every day she was scheduled for physical education so we could remove her from activities that were contraindicated for her physical condition. I was so "dumb" I didn't know there was such a thing as adaptive physical education, or that the school had to make accommodations for her disability and modifications to the curriculum.

How do we become informed, educated parent advocates for our children when information is withheld or not provided?

We have to ask questions. Lots and lots of questions. Wrightslaw's From Emotions to Advocacy urges parents to ask "Who, What, Why, When, Where, How, and Explain" (5 W's + H + E) questions.

Asking questions is the very, very best way to learn how to negotiate the maze of special education.

The moral of this story is that the only "dumb" question is the one you do not ask. If you are wondering about something, someone else -- probably many others -- are also wondering.

So, ask.

Resources

For information about Related Services, including transportation to school, as Pat described in this article, click here.

For information on Modifications & Accommodations, including modifications to curriculum and Adaptive Physical Education (PE) that Pat mentioned in her article, click here.

Some children with disabilities need accommodations and modifications in their special education programs. This 4 page printer-friendly PDF article defines accommodations and modifications and gives examples for books, curriculum, instruction, assignments, and behavior.

Remember that denying the accommodations and modifications that will allow the child equal access to an education is a denial of the child's right to a Free Appropriate Public Education (FAPE). Learn more here.

About Pat Howey

Pat Howey is an advocate who has helped parents obtain special education services and resolve special education disputes.

As a member of the Wrightslaw Speakers Bureau, Pat provides training for parents, educators, and others who want to ensure that children receive quality special education services.

Read more of Pat's answers to questions submitted by people just like you in Wrightslaw's Ask the Advocate section.