{"id":5939,"date":"2011-11-03T11:12:36","date_gmt":"2011-11-03T15:12:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.wrightslaw.com\/blog\/?p=5939"},"modified":"2019-03-26T10:53:26","modified_gmt":"2019-03-26T14:53:26","slug":"what-works-how-will-i-get-the-services-my-son-needs","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.wrightslaw.com\/blog\/what-works-how-will-i-get-the-services-my-son-needs\/","title":{"rendered":"What Works? How Will I Get the Services My Son Needs?"},"content":{"rendered":"<div style=\"padding-bottom:20px; padding-top:10px;\" class=\"hupso-share-buttons\"><!-- Hupso Share Buttons - https:\/\/www.hupso.com\/share\/ --><a class=\"hupso_pop\" href=\"https:\/\/www.hupso.com\/share\/\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/static.hupso.com\/share\/buttons\/gallery\/share-button-gray.png\" style=\"border:0px\" alt=\"Share\" \/><\/a><script type=\"text\/javascript\">var hupso_services=new Array(\"Twitter\",\"Facebook\",\"Google Plus\",\"Pinterest\",\"Linkedin\",\"StumbleUpon\",\"Digg\",\"Reddit\",\"Bebo\",\"Delicious\");var hupso_icon_type = \"labels\";var hupso_background=\"#FFFFFF\";var hupso_border=\"#FFFFFF\";var hupso_image_folder_url = \"\";var hupso_twitter_via=\"wrightslaw\";var hupso_url=\"\";var hupso_title=\"What%20Works%3F%20How%20Will%20I%20Get%20the%20Services%20My%20Son%20Needs%3F\";<\/script><script type=\"text\/javascript\" src=\"https:\/\/static.hupso.com\/share\/js\/share.js\"><\/script><!-- Hupso Share Buttons --><\/div><p>Boy, can I relate to the difficulties described in <a href=\"https:\/\/www.wrightslaw.com\/blog\/same-circumstances-different-outcomes-is-money-the-key\/\"><span style=\"color: #000080;\"><span style=\"color: #0066cc;\">this post<\/span><\/span><\/a> about the difference in high income \/ low income school districts!<\/p>\n<p>I saw the differences in test scores between high income schools and low income rural districts.\u00a0 And my children were in the rural district.<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-20488\" src=\"https:\/\/www.wrightslaw.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/10\/boy.frustrated.small_.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"267\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.wrightslaw.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/10\/boy.frustrated.small_.jpg 400w, https:\/\/www.wrightslaw.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/10\/boy.frustrated.small_-300x200.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>My son needed special education services.\u00a0 He needed higher cost services so he could get a genuine education.\u00a0 <em><strong>How was I going to get the school to provide what I knew he needed?<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<p>I did learn the <span style=\"color: #0066cc;\"><a style=\"color: #0066cc;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.wrightslaw.com\/info\/advo.index.htm\">advocacy skills<\/a><\/span> Pam speaks of.\u00a0 I read the Wright\u2019s website and their books. I read the laws and the regulations.\u00a0 I read case law to understand how the courts were interpreting the laws and what judges were saying in their decisions.<\/p>\n<p>Did I make mistakes along the way?\u00a0\u00a0 Sure I did.\u00a0 But I quickly learned that bluster and threats <strong>do not work<\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p>I also learned <strong>what does work<\/strong>&#8230;<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>I learned that developing alliances among the staff\u00a0 helped a lot.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li>I learned that gathering with other parents helped a lot.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li>I learned that simply going to Board of Education meetings got the attention of the Board members.\u00a0 They wondered why I was showing up regularly.\u00a0 They wondered about the questions I asked in public sessions. That led them to ask some of the same questions.\u00a0 The administration HAD to answer them.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li>I learned that maintaining a <span style=\"color: #0066cc;\"><a style=\"color: #0066cc;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.wrightslaw.com\/info\/ltrs.index.htm\">paper trail and documenting<\/a><\/span> meetings and conversations helped because it held people accountable for what they were telling me.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li>I learned that getting standardized, norm-referenced <a href=\"https:\/\/www.wrightslaw.com\/advoc\/articles\/tests_measurements.html\"><span style=\"color: #000080;\"><span style=\"color: #0066cc;\">test scores gave me objective data<\/span><\/span><\/a> on which to base my questions.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li>I learned that <span style=\"color: #0066cc;\"><a style=\"color: #0066cc;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.wrightslaw.com\/info\/advo.burnout.ltrs.warshaw.htm\">appreciating efforts<\/a><\/span>, both verbally and in writing helped.\u00a0 I could not be seen as a trouble maker when I clearly appreciated effort and reminded staff and administrators of the talented and dedicated people in the school.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li>I learned that it is possible to disagree with a staff person\u2019s opinion without vilifying the person.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li>I learned that many times, the best outcome came from a difference of opinion when it was thoughtfully resolved.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li>I learned that being \u201c<span style=\"color: #0066cc;\"><a style=\"color: #0066cc;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.wrightslaw.com\/blog\/feeling-helpless-start-building-a-well-developed-team\/\">pleasantly persistent<\/a><\/span>\u201d is a great way to produce compliance with the agreed on services.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li>I learned that when I was polite to people, I was not responsible for their emotions. (Some people do learn that being angry or upset can work to deflect expectations of compliance.)<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li>I learned that I couldn\u2019t expect everyone to feel the same way I did about my son or his needs.\u00a0 And I learned that that is OK.\u00a0 I understood my son\u2019s needs.\u00a0 That was my job.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Rural, urban, suburban &#8211; <strong>it matters less where you are than how you approach the matter.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Advocacy skills <strong>are not<\/strong> a guarantee of FAPE.<\/p>\n<p>Advocacy skills <strong>are <\/strong>absolutely necessary for effective participation in the process of getting FAPE for your child.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">_______________________<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.wrightslaw.com\/advoc\/guest\/ask.advocates.htm\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft\" style=\"margin: 5px; border: 1px solid black; float: left;\" src=\"https:\/\/www.wrightslaw.com\/nltr\/img\/debbie.larson.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"117\" height=\"120\" \/><\/a>Meet Debbie Larson on the Wrightslaw <a href=\"https:\/\/www.wrightslaw.com\/advoc\/guest\/ask.advocates.htm\"><span style=\"color: #000080;\">&#8220;<span style=\"color: #0066cc;\">Ask the Advocates<\/span>&#8220;<\/span><\/a> page at <span style=\"color: #0066cc;\"><a style=\"color: #0066cc;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.wrightslaw.com\/advoc\/guest\/ask.advocates.htm\">https:\/\/www.wrightslaw.com\/advoc\/guest\/ask.advocates.htm<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">Read How <a href=\"http:\/\/www.fetaweb.com\/success\/placement.autism.htm\"><span style=\"color: #000080;\"><span style=\"color: #0066cc;\">I Got the School to Change My Son&#8217;s Program &amp; Placement<\/span><\/span><\/a> at <span style=\"color: #0066cc;\"><a style=\"color: #0066cc;\" href=\"http:\/\/www.fetaweb.com\/success\/placement.autism.htm\">http:\/\/www.fetaweb.com\/success\/placement.autism.htm<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Boy, can I relate to the difficulties described in this post about the difference in high income \/ low income school districts! I saw the differences in test scores between <a class=\"more-link\" href=\"https:\/\/www.wrightslaw.com\/blog\/what-works-how-will-i-get-the-services-my-son-needs\/\">Continue Reading \u2192<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":18,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,529],"tags":[814],"class_list":["post-5939","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-advocacy","category-parent-rights-responsibilities","tag-the-power-of-parent-advocacy"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.wrightslaw.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5939","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.wrightslaw.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.wrightslaw.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.wrightslaw.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/18"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.wrightslaw.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5939"}],"version-history":[{"count":14,"href":"https:\/\/www.wrightslaw.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5939\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":24111,"href":"https:\/\/www.wrightslaw.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5939\/revisions\/24111"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.wrightslaw.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5939"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.wrightslaw.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5939"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.wrightslaw.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5939"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}